Cruising: Formal Nights or Are They?

I have a pet-peeve. Ok, I have many pet-peeves, but, one in particular that comes to mind when discussing cruises is people who believe dress codes do not apply to them. Visit any of the cruise message boards, and, you'll often find heated debates over this topic. On most cruise lines (with exceptions such as NCL - Norwegian Cruise Lines), you are "requested" to be in formal attire for dinner (usually two nights out of seven on a week long cruise.)

I've seen people who dress beautifully and get it right and, then I get angry when I see someone in something that doesn't even come close to formal. Since when does a T-shirt that says "I'm with Stupid" qualify as formal in anyone's mind? To these people I say, if you don't want to dress, why are you on a cruise ship that does have dress codes? And, why do you think the rules apply to everyone but, you?

Yes, it DOES bother me. If I, and, my fellow passengers can find the time and make the effort to groom, and, make ourselves presentable, then why in the world do you think you can do what you want? We all notice you or maybe that's your plan.

And, no just because someone isn't dressed as much I might be that evening isn't going to spoil my night or cruise but, it does anger me that people (and this applies to nearly every aspect of life) don't believe the rules apply to them. Do you run a red light because you don't feel like stopping? Or cut in front of the woman with two children at the fast food restaurant because she wasn't paying attention that she needed to move up? With few exceptions, most of you probably answered "no" to those questions. So why do you believe dress codes on cruise ships don't apply to you?

Some argue that it's too expensive. Well, you found the money to book a cruise in first place, is it asking all that much that you at least TRY to meet the formal night request? No one is asking you to drop $1000 on a dress you might not ever wear again! Bargins can be found on the Internet on sites such as E-bay, and, many (in fact most times) it's rather easy to locate brand new, still has tags on it clothing that people simply want to sell for whatever reason. It's a great place to get a $200 dress for $15 or $25 dollars. So NO the too expensive arguement doesn't fly with me at all.

This brings up the question of why there are formal nights at all? Isn't a cruise suppose to be a relaxing, care-free experience? Well, there isn't a heck a lot of information about formal nights (outside of the arguments pro and con) on the topic. The fact is it dates back to the heyday when cruising was for the rich and famous and a serious means of transportation. It was also a time when your social status mattered, and, your manner of dress reflected your social class. As cruising became a way of relaxing and less about being a form of transportation the tradition of dressing for dinner stayed, and, through the course of history has dwindled down to just two nights on a typical seven day cruise.

I enjoy dressing. It makes me feel better knowing I'm looking my best. And, I find it very difficult to comprehend why people put up such a fuss about putting on a gown or cocktail dress or a suit or tuxedo. If you're looking to sport that t-shirt with your grand kids on it, why can't you wear it in port or around the ship during the day? Why do you think the dress codes apply to everyone but, you?

Oh I know this is an argument I will never win. The fact of the matter is class and manners are quickly losing their meaning in today's society, and, yes, dressing is part of class and manners. It's how you present yourself to the world. So, if you want to wear your Minnie Mouse earrings and polyester slacks and top and call it formal that is your choice, just don't do it on a cruise ship or sail on a line that allows a relaxed dress code.

And yes I am addressing you! You know who you are...